Over-praising kids does more harm than good. As a parent and as a teacher, I think that is important, overpraising kids, so common in this time, In my opinion because we are so afraid, to hurt our kids' self esteem, that we overprotected and overpraise our children. This imaginary shield does more harm than good because as this article mention we are created a false self that will crash with reality.
Is better let the children try the times necessary, encourage them, support them, until they reach competence.
On the other hand competence is not built in one day and also is not built lower others in our way, or blaming others for the children's failures.
The children will reach competence when they try over and over again, that means they face and own their failures in the process and overcome them.
Self-esteem comes from feeling loved and secure, and from developing competence, Taylor says, and although parents often shower their kids with the first two ingredients, to be competent —takes time and effort. “As much as we may want to, we can’t praise our kids into competence,” he says.
In fact, by over-praising kids, we’re doing more harm than good. “We’re lowering the bar for them,” Taylor says. “If you keep telling your child she is already doing a fantastic job, you’re saying she no longer needs to push herself. But confidence comes from doing, from trying and failing and trying again. Our job as parent and as educators is to support them, to encourage them
My experience as an educator coincide with what in the article Samantha MacLeod, who has four boys, ages one to nine, believes constant complimenting can actually erode self-esteem. Either kids start thinking they’re perfect and they do not need to do anything else to improve or they or they try to be perfecto or the time, also an impossible standard.
An excessive or inaccurate praise confuses them. The praise must be specific and accurate.
Plus, Taylor adds, telling your child he’s the best, the smartest or the most talented is setting him up for some very bad news down the road. sooner or later, he’ll discover he’s not all that after all, and will be devastated.